Clarifying things

So I thought I'd be perfectly clear about how I want to do this blog. This blog is about my past experiences and the help that I have gotten in the past, present, and the help that I will get in the future. It isn't supposed to be sad or "woe is me". I just want you to know that no matter what you're going through, even if your problem is minor, that you're going to get through it. And I would like to help anyone who needs an hear to listen. I also want this to be an uplifting blog and show that through pictures and sayings. Sometimes posts will consist of only that, other times it'll feel as if I'm writing you a book. But I hope someone reads what i write or sees an uplifting photo and have it change your day.

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Never forget this. Even when you're down. You are perfect and you can become who and what you want to be. Just be yourself. Be your own love. Never falter. Life will get better. 

and You are perfect

Alive

Yes, I am sorry it has been an extremely long time since I've blogged.

Honestly all I have are excuses for you. After the last post I was so busy with school and work that at sometimes i was just overwhelmed. And then graduation took a lot out of me.

But let me tell you, this month have been one of the worst months of my life. Something really horrible happened to me that I can't really talk about, but has caused me to be experiencing PTSD, or post traumatic stress disorder. Here are some of the symptoms that I have been experiencing accourding to this website.

Symptoms

People with PTSD re-experience the event again and again in at least one of several ways. They may have frightening dreams and memories of the event, feel as though they are going through the experience again (flashbacks), or become upset during anniversaries of the event.

 I also found out after my brothers grad party that my mother has been diagnosed with MS or multiple sclerosis. This is a little something that my mother is experiencing according to this website.

This has highly been affecting my depression and anxiety issues. I have been going to therapy. But I definantly have my hard days.

I just have to keep my head up and realize that this is just a moment, that it will pass and everything will be okay again.

If you need help keeping your head up remember I will always be here to listen, just email me at dontforgetthelight@gmail.com. Please Don't Forget. Someone Cares.

Here is an inspiring picture that I just found that I'll leave you with.

 

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hey there

Sorry I haven't posted in a really long time guys. The holidays were really crazy and I've been working like crazy since I got back to school.

I think that you guys should know a little more about me. I think who I am and how I was raised is a big part of me and helps to shape how I've handled things in my life.

I was raised in a lower middle class family as a third child. My parents never went to college and my father didn't even go to high school. He was a member of 12 children and after eighth grade he was expected to go to work. This made growing up more difficult since we had to live pay check to pay check. But no matter what my mom was determined to give me as many opportunities as I could get. I played soccer, took dance lessons and swimming lessons. I had piano, guitar and tennis lessons. I was very involved in our church with youth group, hand bells and choir, as well as fundraising.

This is a pretty long post so I'm going to do this in sections, so I guess consider this part I.

Also I do not want anyone to think I'm complaining about anything that has happened to me. I just want this to be an outlet for my and my memories. I also hope to help someone or for them to learn from my mistakes and success.

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i'll never forget

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This evening/morning I feel slightly empty. Not sure if its the meds i take that make me think too much. The sadness a conversation can spur. I just had a cig with my brother. He says he doesn't feel empty and hasn't for four years. Since he was in the boys and girls home for nine months. He said he just let go. Knows that someday he is going to die, and when you die you let go. He believes when you die there is just nothingness. That there is no heaven or hell. He said He doesn't know how to tell mom he loves her. And he said he really does love her. I don't know how to help him with this. This friction in my family. The emotional lines that have been crossed and knotted up. I want to help him but i'm in those exact emotional knots.

Home

So tomorrow I'm going home for the holidays for a couple of weeks.

I'm not going to lie, some of the memories from my childhood are not the best. In the later years of living there in highschool I would get really bad migraines from stress. I guess I just don't want it to bring on some seasonal depression.

I know some other people have pretty hard families experiences, but no matter what my family has been through or done I will always love them.

Wish me luck through this holiday season. I'll probably be blotting a lot. :)

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