Anonymous

You are going to move through this.

More importantly, I love you. YOU ARE GOING TO MOVE THROUGH THIS.
Don't be defeated. Submit yourself to the process. You are growing. You are changing. You are doing LIFE.

...I am not trying to make you feel better. This f++ing hurts, and there are no two ways around it. But I am trying to encourage you to not retreat. I can't remove the pain, but I am going to hold your hand while it hurts.

Continue to reach out. You need people right now.

I'm here for anything you need.

You are LOVED in ways you cannot imagine. In ways that don't depend on you. In ways that don't depend on your performance. In ways that cannot be lost. Remember Remember Remember.

Love you my friend.

- Anonymous

keep going..

So for some reason I seem to be a pack rat, no matter how much i clea.
But I'm also a pack rat for memories. That doesn't sound so horrible, in some cases it is a blessing. But tonight as I was sketching on my big paper pad, I found a sad memory on the page behind.

I found a suicide note i wrote what seems like ages and ages ago behind my drawing. I drew it on my big paper pad cause I didn't want anyone to miss it.. in big bold black writing. All it say's is

"Keeping an eye on the world
So many thousands of feet off the ground
I'm over you now I'm at home in the clouds
Towering over your head.." 

For some reason these lyrics were my farewell at the time. Before my boyfriend came and talked me off the metaphoric ledge i was standing on. 

I feel like this happens to many people. We lay out the pills, we write the note, we tie the noose. But (thankfully) many of our attempts never catch. To those who do "succeed", I just wish I could speak to those people for five minutes. To let them know life will get better.

Tonight i ripped up a note that means nothing to me now, just words on a piece of paper.

Will You Be Able To Rip Up Your Note?

 

tumor

A teacher I know and have had was recently diagnosed with a brain tumor. It was honestly really hard for me to hear that. We are not super close but she over saw my internship and that was a segment of my life that was full of new experiences and more evolving on my part. But anyway she came to class to the class she was originally teaching today. It was very hard to see her that way, in a wheel chair, not being able to move her right side of her body. But she wanted to talk to us, tell us about her travels, ask her questions about class.

She said two things. That she perused her dreams and goals. And that she had no regrets.

Always go for your goals, No Matter What.

Ruth Glock

last night

So yesterday i wrote a draft of a post but decided that one can wait, this one is more on my mind.

I had a bit of an argument with someone I thought was a new friend. I was trying to tell him my story via facebook chat. (online it can be hard to tell voice tone, sarcasm, etc) But I guess I mistook some momentary amount of kindness for caring. I like to tell people my journey (hence this blog) because it helps me as a person to cope with things that have happened in my life and I feel like it makes me stronger. But he kept telling me I was wrong, that these things were little things and I should get over them. Then he proceeded to try to "one up" me and tell me the things that have happened to him are worse and that I have never felt pain.

I got angry, which I feel anyone in that situation might, but now i regret that. I didn't say anything horrible to him, I just told him I had to go cause I didn't want to say anything I'd want to take back later (go me!), which is something I wouldn't have done even a year ago, I most likely would have stayed a fight it out.

I woke up this morning to find a facebook message from him apologizing, but I will defiantly be taking it with a grain of salt.

I guess the moral of this is several things. First off Tell Your Story. I have always found it better to talk it out. If you don't feel comfortable telling everyone like i do, tell one person, tell someone you meet in an online chat, tell me! (dontforgetthelight@gmail.com), tell your closest friend. But Tell SOMEONE. Don't suffer in silence. 

Secondly, When someone tells you their story, Do NOT put them down or Tell them they don't have it that bad. Everyone experiences pain and sadness, no story is better or worse than anyone elses.  We all look at the world differently, so who are you to tell someone that their sadness is pointless.

I hope these things help someone. I hope someone reads this and feels better.

This was a wordy post, next one I'll try to get some inspirational pictures up here.

You must look into other people as well as at them.

Lord Chesterfield

hello.

So, I've had a blog before and still do, but not one quite as personal as this one will be. 

I have always wanted to create something or do something that helps others. But not having the funds or the substantial time to donate right now in my situation (we'll get there MUCH later) i decided to create a blog. A blog is something I can do at one in the morning. It's a medium to get my voice out there, to get mine and other peoples stories out there.

And the number one thing I want people to know Is that I'm always here. and I always will be. A helpful hand and a listening ear.

Honestly, I'm a horrible blogger on my other one. Sometimes i have no idea to write and with school i run out of time. But for this one i think i have plenty of material to start with.

And like i said i'll always be here.. if not through blogger land then email. I CHECK ALL MY EMAILS REGULARLY. Its like a drug haha. but my email for you is dontforgetthelight@gmail.com. Use it, live it, love it!

And i promise it won't get boring or preachy.. I believe in art and music and culture to get through surviving into thriving.

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.
Helen Keller