But I'm also a pack rat for memories. That doesn't sound so horrible, in some cases it is a blessing. But tonight as I was sketching on my big paper pad, I found a sad memory on the page behind.
I found a suicide note i wrote what seems like ages and ages ago behind my drawing. I drew it on my big paper pad cause I didn't want anyone to miss it.. in big bold black writing. All it say's is
"Keeping an eye on the world
So many thousands of feet off the ground
I'm over you now I'm at home in the clouds
Towering over your head.."
So many thousands of feet off the ground
I'm over you now I'm at home in the clouds
Towering over your head.."
For some reason these lyrics were my farewell at the time. Before my boyfriend came and talked me off the metaphoric ledge i was standing on.
I feel like this happens to many people. We lay out the pills, we write the note, we tie the noose. But (thankfully) many of our attempts never catch. To those who do "succeed", I just wish I could speak to those people for five minutes. To let them know life will get better.
Tonight i ripped up a note that means nothing to me now, just words on a piece of paper.
Will You Be Able To Rip Up Your Note?
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